This segment aired on the Today Show this morning. I was bewildered as I watched it. Perhaps I live an insulated life, or maybe I surround myself with a certain kind of people, but most everyone I know, loves being a mom. 

Some of my friends have a lot of kids, some only have one. I have friends in happy and unhappy marriages, and I have friends who are single parents. Almost all of them love being a mom. 

So as I watched the segment, I was wondering what was missing in the lives of these women, who genuinely sounded so unhappy and unsatisfied. I think the common thread that I was saw was the lack of understanding of the vocation of motherhood.

I even visited the Today Show website, where there was a poll, asking viewers if they were unhappy with being mothers. I fully expected that this poll would show the producers that they were wrong, that there was only just a vocal minority who hate their lives. Instead, I found that sadly, they were spot on.

Motherhood is what we are called to do. Our bodies are uniquely created to bear and nourish children. Our emotions and empathy allow us to be tender and loving to our children. 

And yet, we want more.

We want fulfillment.

We want other people to tell us we are doing a good job.

We want time off…with pay.

I take this morning show segment as a message to me to reach out to the hurting moms out there. To let them know that they are not alone. That their job matters. That their kids matter. That some of the best and most important jobs pay nothing.

Children NEED mothers. Children need caring and nurturing and should not feel like a burden or a source of unhappiness.

My payoffs may be slim now, but the big payoff is the one I pray that I, and my children someday hear: “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

So, what about you? Are you satisfied with your life? Are you happy or unhappy being a mother? Let me know!

Leave me a comment, or, click over on the discussion button on my sidebar and start a discussion on my Blog Frog forum!

  1. Megan says:

    I love being a mom! That doesn't mean all days are easy though. Everyone is different, but for me, the most difficult time was when I was focused on other things like work/school. I felt spread too thin and it became a situation were I always felt guilty because I felt like I wasn't giving my best anywhere. I know it isn't for everyone, but I love my life now. I LOVE being able to make my children my #1 priority ALL THE TIME. That isn't easy either though! We go without some material things and have to watch our money, but I think I like to think I am giving my kids a different kind of gift.

  2. Dakotapam says:

    True Megan, it is rarely easy. But to me it is not a source of unhappiness. When I worked outside the home, we had more money, but I missed my kids terribly, and I hated that I was tied to someone else and their schedule when making decisions for OUR family. In that case the JOB was making me unhappy. I cannot imagine life without my children. And I so look forward to a lapful of grandbabies some day!

  3. Ethan, Zach, and Emm says:

    There are days with EVERY mom that feel like you just can't do this one more minute. Then at the end of that day, some little arms wrap around your neck, and you hear, "I love you Mama." Even though there's days that I want to tear my hair out, I wouldn't trade my life for anything.

  4. Sue says:

    I loved being a Mom (well, still do, but they are all out of the house!). I can't imagine life without motherhood. And in many ways it was very hard for me, because I became a single mother (not by my choice) when my children were 4 and 7 and was forced to get a job to take care of them and stay off welfare. Their own father did not value my choice to stay at home and raise our children. He admired "working" women more. He even told friends his job was more important than his family. As the segment pointed out, this generation is child-centric, almost a competition to keep your child busy and give him lots of "things". It is so different than when I was growing up. But a big thing in my opinion is the lack of respect or of support for moms (and dads) taking care of their kids, esp. the ones who want to stay at home. I remember my boys' dad telling someone, when I was going someplace by myself on a Saturday, that he was "babysitting for Sue". I was really offended by that, as if it were totally my responsibility to raise those boys. As it turns out, I did, actually, all by myself. While I did get regular child support, he was not much involved with them. I have to say, what goes around, comes around, in spades. I never said a bad word about him. They figured it out all by themselves. But I'm glad I had them, still wish I could have stayed home with them all the way. And now I have a precious first grandchild to look forward to, late in October.

  5. Ewe says:

    I was a teacher for 6 1/2 years. I was so happy to have my own children and stay home with them and not work outside the home. Yes, there are days that are difficult, but I think of my friends that so desperately want to have a baby and can't. I also think of my friends that would love to be a SAHM but can't. I think a lot of the unhappiness in this TV segment is that many moms have not sat down and discussed all this with their husband while they were engaged or newlyweds. Then the kids came (either planned or not) and they hadn't worked all this out with their husband. I think then they end up trying to be a supermom because even if they are in a good marriage they don't have their husband's support. A big reason why I love being a mom is that my dh tells me often how much he appreciates what I do for him and the boys. Dh or the boys giving me a card or saying thank you is way better than a promotion or award or raise at a paid job. I also enjoy the challenge of budgeting both my time and our money. Dh also allows me to go to Mamapooloza type events as often as possible to give me a little break with my friends.

  6. Sue says:

    Ewe: exactly! Though we did talk about it, his perspective changed, unfortunately.I love that he and the boys say thank you, give you cards. You are blessed!

  7. Anonymous says:

    I LOVE being a mom, but I often worry that I'm not doing a good enough job. I know it's stupid, but I'm being honest about my challenges.

  8. Dakotapam says:

    I'm going to guess that I speak for ALL moms when I say we ALL feel like we are not doing a good enough job. I'd love to hear from someone who thinks they have this mom thing down and are doing awesome at it!

  9. HappyFox says:

    Wow – should I respond to this question at 6:30am, already up for two hours w/a happy, wakeful seven-month old?The TV segment wouldn't run, so I'll just go off the original post & comments.After 20 years in the Army, and no experience w/kids, we had our first daughter. I'm currently a SAHM w/two – a two& a half-year old & a seven-month old. Motherhood gives me new & unlimited opportunities for sinning. I feel like a failure. It would be so much easier for me to say, "I hate this!", rather than, "I love being a mom!" Then, after thinking something like that, I feel like a horrible ingrate who obviously doesn't care how often the Bible states "children are a blessing". How can I dare to complain to a sovereign, thrice-holy Lord about my God-given vocation? (These are the thoughts I'm assailed with at 2am while I'm trying to get a little nursling to let go of me so I can sleep.) I suck at this-at least, I suck at having my sleep interrupted 5x/night and then not blowing up at the two-year old when she does something "two-ish" later in the day? I suck at not feeling burnout & thinking things like, "Oh boy, it's *insert day of week* – let's go to the playground….again." And I suck at not hating myself for having these thoughts. How can I say I'm happy?Again, I don't know how much of this is rational & how much is sleep deprivation-induced. It's just how I feel.Bonnie

  10. HappyFox says:

    Ok, the sun's up & I've rested a bit – feeling a lot better.On an average day, I can't honestly blurt out "I love being a mom!", but I can say it's really exciting, usually fun, and I get to pray A LOT more now than before – and I like those things. And life is much fuller & richer (is that redundant?) since these two little people have been added to our family. 🙂

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