Creating Margin
Do you remember when you were first learning to write? I remember scrawling impossibly long sentences across my lined paper, from edge to edge and often wrapping to the next line with dashes and arrows. I remember my kind teacher showing me how hard that made it to read my writing.
Then as I began to learn to write for the internet I learned the value of white space. I learned to write shorter sentences and shorter paragraphs and leaving space in my writing to make things easier for you to read.
And, over time, I’ve learned that my life needs margin as well.
As wives and mothers we are impossibly hard on ourselves. We are even harder on each other.
Society tries to convince us that we can have it all. Our peers seem to be doing everything faster, and neater and healthier and raising more enriched children than we are.
I set plenty of goals for myself. I make them clear. I make them (sort of) achievable. I write them down. I tell other people about them.
And then. . .I fall flat on my face.
Because life happens.
Take this blog for example. I have every intention of giving you something to read every weekday. Some weeks I do pretty well. Some weeks I even schedule posts so that I can make up for busy days (though to me that always seems to take away from the timeliness of blogging.) But then, days like yesterday happen.
I drove four kids to three schools. Then, I spent a lovely morning with coffee and friends at our weekly Bible study. Back home to wash some dishes and watch a friend’s daughter for an hour. Then, we of course need to catch up over coffee. Then groceries, then picking up Dakotateen from school (which always takes a LONG time since he can’t seem to wait outside for me), then cooking dinner and cleaning up after dinner (we fired the kids), put the four littler ones to bed, and then I SHOULD have blogged.
But I did not have it in me.
I had no margin in my day.
By the time that last kid was tucked in, I was DONE.
So I sat in my recliner and vegged out. I had a glass of wine. I finally checked Facebook. I sent out a lame Tweet. And I knew that when I woke up this morning, the blog would still be here.
And it is. And here you are.
Maybe you had a busy day too. Maybe all of your days are too busy. Maybe you thrive on busy (I don’t).
If you are a person like me who needs a little more margin than the average person, let me share a trick with you.
I mentally divide my day into three parts, morning, afternoon and evening. When I am scheduling activities (outings, playdates, Bible Studies, meetings, book clubs etc.) I try to always leave one of those slots open. I need a little unscheduled time each day. Now, during that time I still DO stuff. . .I am a mom to six! But I need that time to wipe my counters, bake a loaf of bread, do laundry, play a game with the kids, read a book, take a walk, blog, just be me.
Eh, it works for me…most days!
Chime in! How do you create margin in your life? Are you good at it? Do you have a tip to share? You know I’d love to hear from you!
I like nice, wide margins
I have had to stop myself from viewing my calendar as a thing to be filled. Literally, I used to sit with my physical calendar in my lap dreaming up ways to fill it with things, especially in the summer. That is where my lovely, geeky husband comes in. He convinced me to use an e-calendar instead. I know it sounds crazy, but now my calendar is a tool not a to do list, if that makes any sense. I’m also getting more into letting things slide for the sake of fun, either with my kids or on my own. Today my clean laundry pile sits happily in a heap on the couch while I spent the morning scrapbooking at a friend’s house. I feel calm, happy, energized. Okay I still don’t feel like folding the clothes, but hey, life is good. I’m glad to read you took time for the coffee and Bible study!
(dofollow)
Shannon recently posted..Menu Plan Monday, picky kids, and a recipe
Yes, that is exactly it. I think I need wider than average margins. While I have some friends who are content to work full time, go back to school and go to the gym five times a week, I dream of time sipping coffee with friends or curled up with a book and the children. I’d love the paycheck and the toned abs…but I fear I’d be a bit neurotic as a result.
Dakotapam recently posted..Creating Margin
Twitter: dakotapam
It is important to make sure to get a little bit of extra rest. Of course, as a part-time writer the way I do it is I try to get a little bit of extra work in when I have the time and energy, and then when I need to veg out I just say “Okay, this is the day I accounted for”. Or if I have something that I update every X period of time and I need filler, I just pull it from that buffer.
Just a little advice.
Don’t overwork yourself.
That is great advice, Julie! Thank you.
Dakotapam recently posted..Please Don’t Call Me Supermom
Twitter: dakotapam