Frustration

written by Dakotapam on January 18, 2010 in life as we know it with 12 comments

Here is a picture of Emily yesterday with my cousin Kristen.

I’m a little frustrated. Last night when I left the nicu, I had signed papers and was preparing for Miss Emily to come home this morning.
Unfortunately, after a day under the bili lights, her bilirubin levels only went down a smidge. So the doctor wants her in for another day of phototherapy. I’m not going to lie, I came this. close. to bawling when the doctor met me at the door with that news this morning. And then, I feel like a jerk. Things could be so much worse. I have two healthy babies. One just has some issues to work through, that are minor compared to how she was minutes after her birth 4 days ago. And then I consider how small she would have been had she been born two and a half weeks earlier. So I’m frustrated.
This little Emily has always been the twin who has caused a bit of concern. Never anything major, but she was always the one we were worried about for growth, and she has never been super cooperative during ultrasounds. Really, in the grand scheme of things, I’ve been so blessed with healthy children. I’ve given birth to six children, and only had one in the nicu. I know other moms who have had all of their children spend time there. And for a longer time than I am whining about.
So, I wouldn’t mind if you all keep this hormonal post partum mama in your prayers.