Girlfriends are a Gift

Girlfriends are a gift


This is a picture from what seems a lifetime ago. A  quick snapshot of four women outside of our cabin at a Pastor’s wives retreat. We were all supporting our husbands in the same geographical area. We spent the weekend laughing, crying, praying for each other.

Within the next few years, we were all separated from each other as husbands took calls to other congregations in other states.

Yesterday, fellow PW (pastor’s wife) Heidi posted this insightful post on the families we leave behind. It is true. Ministry families often suffer from being so far from our extended families. We miss out on birthday parties, sometimes weddings, group vacations and the like. It is part of the package. And we are not alone, there are many non-ministry families who are separated by distance as well.

But another gaping hole of loss is our friends. For some PWs, making friends is difficult. Many end up in small, close knit communities, many have issues with not knowing who they can trust. I was blessed to have this group of women to lean on in the years following my husband’s graduation from seminary. I cried great big, sobbing, ugly cry tears when I left them. Church conferences can feel like a reunion.

I’m blessed. I make friends fairly easily. . .my outgoing kids sure have helped! But there is something about a friendship with a woman who is walking a similar walk with you. One who shares similar struggles and frustrations. One who understands exactly why we never get “fun weekend getaways”. One who understands exactly why our husbands hurt when their people are hurting. One who knows the joy and privilege of serving alongside a true servant of God.

There is something about those very friendships that make them maybe a wee bit more special. There is something about them that compells us to give just a little bit more of ourselves. We are in a kind of sorority that we may never have chosen to be a part of, but now can no longer imagine any other kind of life.

When you have these kinds of friendships, treasure them. Nurture them. Pray for them.

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Written by Dakotapam
I'm a Lutheran pastor's wife and mom to six kids, including young adult sons down to 8-year old twin daughters. My life is sometimes normal, and sometimes crazy; but through it all, I know that I am blessed! Some people say that I have my hands full, I prefer to call it living life with both hands full, and I love it!