I’m Perfectly Imperfect

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Lest anyone operate under the faulty notion that I am Supermom, I’ve been reminded of my failings a lot lately.

One of the boys has complained of a plugged up feeling ear lately. I forgot that he has a pain tolerance that makes him a prime candidate for male epidural free birth, if there is such a thing. Following a hunch almost a week later we spent an hour in the walk-in clinic last night and walked out with a prescription for antibiotics. Big kids get ear infections too. And I’m suspecting he’s had many more than we’ve actually caught. Way to go, Mom.

Another son has abandoned homework for a while. And I assumed that he really did not have any. Looking good, Mom.

I’m noticing that church behavior is slipping, and I’m not talking about the babies. Awesome.

As I was tucking kids in tonight, I noticed one of them was not sleeping on a sheet. Just the mattress. Where is my “mom of the year” trophy?

A big brother did better than I did at calming down Emily at bedtime tonight. Is she switching loyalties so soon?

I’ve been yelling. A lot. Too much.

On the other hand, the laundry has been chronically caught up lately. Dishes are all sparkly clean and in their places. The bathrooms are sanitary. The living room is neat and tidy (except for the pile of tissues the girls tore out of the box when they were practicing for “Minute To Win It” while I used the restroom alone this morning.)

Let’s get real. I can’t do it all. My best efforts turn up short. When my pride gets in the way I tend to end up on the wrong side of perfection. For example, this morning I was so proud of myself for getting out the door EARLY for my Moms Club meeting. Turns out I was a WEEK early. AND I had two little girls in the car who were thrilled to have gotten out of the house and were looking for adventure. Thankfully I had the double jogging stroller in the trunk, so I turned my mistake into a few miles at the mall.

And that my friends, is what I’m here to tell you.

We cannot be SUPERMOM!

(although, our husbands would not mind it!)

We can be the best that we can be, at any given moment.

Sometimes that means that the laundry is caught up and lined up neatly in dresser drawers.

Sometimes that means tasty, nutritious meals on the table by 5:30 on the dot.

Sometimes that means immaculately completed homework.

Sometimes it means mucous and germ free clean and pressed kids.

Rarely will we get all of these things at once.

The Rev. likes to refer to a truth learned in his engineering days. There is quick, cheap, and quality. Choose two. You can never get all three.

So, that is how it is with motherhood, we can’t do it all.

Should we stop trying?

Probably not.

Should we stop beating ourselves up?


So, I’m like the anti-Mary Poppins. And that is OK.

My Life With Twins: When Twins Come Early<< >>First Things First

About the author : Dakotapam

I'm a Lutheran pastor's wife and mom to six kids, including toddler twin girls. My life is sometimes normal, and sometimes crazy; but through it all, I know that I am blessed! Some people say that I have my hands full, I prefer to call it living life with both hands full, and I love it!

12 comments to “I’m Perfectly Imperfect”

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  1. Becky - April 6, 2011 Reply

    As a 1st time mom I remember hearing something that now as a more “experienced” mom I cling to. I do the best I can and pray that God makes up the difference.

    • Dakotapam - April 7, 2011 Reply

      Yes, I hope and pray that God makes up for my failings!

  2. Megan Rosten - April 7, 2011 Reply

    I like that saying, how true it is!

    Isn’t it funny how life works? I often find, the weeks I have been the best mother, are weeks the house it a bit messy. Who wants perfection anyway? How boring!

    I tell myself, what makes a perfect mother isn’t actually BEING perfect, it is always striving to do better. It is the caring that makes us good mothers. You my friend ARE up for mother of the year in that regard!

    • Dakotapam - April 7, 2011 Reply

      Thanks Megan.

      I really think that parenting brings out all of our insecurities from our childhood.

      I DO want people to think I’m a good mom, darn it! BUT, it can be so hard and no decision is so cut and dry that you know that you are always making the right choice.

      And I should not worry about what other people think, but gee…if I could stop worrying then I WOULD be superwoman!

      I miss you girl! We need to get some face to face time soon!

  3. Bad Joo - April 7, 2011 Reply

    I’ve been having this very same sort of week. thanks for the post, Pammy.

  4. Jen - April 7, 2011 Reply

    Amen, Pam! I’ve learned that a clean home does not equal a happy home. Generally it is an unhappy home as I am trying to finish something while a baby is crying and kids are fighting. We all pitch in and it certainly doesn’t look perfect. That’s ok with me though!

  5. Anne - April 7, 2011 Reply

    I know many an adult who had a “perfect” mother – one in particular. Those adults come without the knowledge of how their sheets got on the bed, meals got cooked, and socks got lined up in the drawer in the first place … and can’t be trained to do it themselves!!!!

    Praise God for imperfect mothers, as they raise independent, competent children!!!

  6. Rebecca - April 10, 2011 Reply

    I’ve been getting so many ‘you’re such a good mom’ comments when talking about what i’ve been doing with the kids and especially with Joey and all the while I’m thinking….but I let his spica cast get soaking wet with urine. The spica cast he is supposed to wear for twelve weeks! Well, eleven now….one week down….eleven to go!

  7. Karin - April 11, 2011 Reply

    It is all forgiven and was even before you yelled at your kiddos. Have peace in that.

    So many of us moms are so hard on ourselves. Not suggesting we watch the chaos mount but we do forget that Jesus died for us too and loves us. Hugs on these frustrating days and all the rest too.

    Funny story. A friend of mine was talking to me one day when I had three small children and I was feeling guilty for having yelled at them. She said she knew what I meant. She had been yelling at her children about something and happened to look at her face in the mirror when it happened. She thought to herself that she would never do that again. “Yell at your kids?” I asked. “No, look at myself in the mirror while yelling at the kids.”

    Har, har.

    Go wipe down a counter or something and feel better.

    • Dakotapam - April 11, 2011 Reply

      Thanks Karin. You have no idea how much I needed to read that today!

  8. Emily Cook - April 12, 2011 Reply

    Great post! Nothing makes you see your own sins… and give thanks for God’s grace… like Motherhood! 🙂

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