Lessons from a Royal Wedding: Marriage Still Matters
Why wake up early and watch a wedding spectacle of people you don’t know, and likely will never meet? Who cares about the Royals? Isn’t their marriage doomed to fail anyway?
Let me tell you why I made it a point to watch, and celebrate even, the royal nuptials.
Marriage matters.
Since before the Fall, God has ordained marriage as important, special, and yes, even necessary.
So, I recorded the wedding (even though I would have loved to watch live. . .I’m just not a morning person and I DID want to watch all of the commentary beforehand!). I got the boys safely off to school, brewed a pot of coffee and had a mimosa on standby to toast the happy couple from my armchair.
As much as I enjoyed all of the pomp leading up to the ceremony, I loved the wedding service even more. With a pastor for a husband, I’m a bit of a wedding junkie. I’ve been to many weddings, those for older and younger people, large affairs and smaller, private occasions. (For the record, I do believe that in 10 years of marrying people the Rev. has 100% success rate thusfar. Premarital counseling IS important). I’ve heard a lot of wedding music, some good, some questionable and even some with very little music. I’ve seen all manners of gowns. I’ve seen well behaved and embarrassing bridesmaids.
What I loved about the royal wedding was how understated it really was! Westminster Abbey really needs very little to dress it up, and the simplicity and beauty of Kate’s gown made it all the more stunning than some flashier models I’ve seen. I adore the concept of young children as bridal attendants. They are much lower maintenance and sometimes better behaved.
The music was beautiful. I enjoyed watching the entire congregation actually SINGING during the congregational hymns. Ubi Caritas et amor is now officially my favorite wedding music selection.
What really blew me away though, was the well preached, simple message of the value of marriage from the Bishop of London. The full text can be found here.
“Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.” So said St Catherine of Siena whose festival day it is today. Marriage is intended to be a way in which man and woman help each other to become what God meant each one to be, their deepest and truest selves.
Many are full of fear for the future of the prospects of our world but the message of the celebrations in this country and far beyond its shores is the right one – this is a joyful day! It is good that people in every continent are able to share in these celebrations because this is, as every wedding day should be, a day of hope.
In a sense every wedding is a royal wedding with the bride and the groom as king and queen of creation, making a new life together so that life can flow through them into the future.
William and Catherine, you have chosen to be married in the sight of a generous God who so loved the world that he gave himself to us in the person of Jesus Christ.
And in the Spirit of this generous God, husband and wife are to give themselves to each another. . .
Marriage should transform, as husband and wife make one another their work of art. It is possible to transform as long as we do not harbour ambitions to reform our partner. There must be no coercion if the Spirit is to flow; each must give the other space and freedom. Chaucer, the London poet, sums it up in a pithy phrase:
“Whan maistrie [mastery] comth, the God of Love anon,
Beteth his wynges, and farewell, he is gon.”
As the reality of God has faded from so many lives in the West, there has been a corresponding inflation of expectations that personal relations alone will supply meaning and happiness in life. This is to load our partner with too great a burden. We are all incomplete: we all need the love which is secure, rather than oppressive, we need mutual forgiveness, to thrive.
As we move towards our partner in love, following the example of Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit is quickened within us and can increasingly fill our lives with light. This leads to a family life which offers the best conditions in which the next generation can practise and exchange those gifts which can overcome fear and division and incubate the coming world of the Spirit, whose fruits are love and joy and peace.
I pray that all of us present and the many millions watching this ceremony and sharing in your joy today, will do everything in our power to support and uphold you in your new life. And I pray that God will bless you in the way of life that you have chosen, that way which is expressed in the prayer that you have composed together in preparation for this day:
God our Father, we thank you for our families; for the love that we share and for the joy of our marriage.
In the busyness of each day keep our eyes fixed on what is real and important in life and help us to be generous with our time and love and energy.
Strengthened by our union help us to serve and comfort those who suffer. We ask this in the Spirit of Jesus Christ. Amen.
–portions of the sermon given by the Bishop of London on the occasion od the marriage of Prince William and Catherine Middleton
So, today we celebrate the marriage of virtual strangers, and yet, we can also examine and appreciate our own marriages. We may not be married to princes, but we are no royalty either. What we should do though, is build each other up, and follow the example of Jesus!
Chime in! Did you watch the wedding? What was your favorite part? Did you remember your own wedding when watching? What was your favorite part of your own wedding day? You know I’d love to hear from you!
You made the pomp and circumstance hit home in this post. THANK YOU. Marriage matters and following Jesus matters. You’re right. I had a long night with a sick child and only watched the post wedding events today. I loved reading your recap. And seriously I think EVERY couple must need your husband’s premarital counseling? He clearly is a gifted pastor. On my blog, I posted how to have a royal name to attend the royal wedding as a guest. Just for fun…I’m Lady Esther Beau of Belmont…at least for today.
Katie from the prairie recently posted..How To Create Your Royal Name Before the Royal Wedding
Twitter: katpinke
You are spot-on! Great post! I’m the relatively new wedding coordinator for my church – have done only 3 weddings so far, but been to many in my life. My Dad was a photographer and I used to accompany him as his assistant – we saw a LOT of different things, including one wedding where we basically took over and ran the wedding – they acted like they didn’t have a clue and like they hadn’t had a rehearsal. Of the 3 recent weddings I did, it’s been interesting. The last one had invited 400 guests (our church can squeeze in 250). We added about 40 chairs to the back. When the bride arrived at the rehearsal, she wanted me to fill the (very large) narthex clear to the back with chairs. I said the fire marshal wouldn’t allow that (I have no idea about that really, but it didn’t seem safe to me). I said we need to allow some walk-around space for safety’s sake, and that people can stand if that many show up. We pretty much filled the sanctuary and maybe 2/3 of the extra chairs. Pastor had told me not to worry about the numbers, brides may think that many will come but he’s never seen it happen! It seemed to me more event than wedding. Everything was so over the top.The bride came to the rehearsal in a dress that I thought she was going to fall out of, if you get my drift. Inappropriate for a church and very immodest in general. And so many members of wedding parties and also guests obviously are unfamiliar with being in a church. Sometimes even the bride and groom, though I know Pastor does rigorous counseling, and actually refused one couple after meeting them.
A couple of wedding stories from years back in my church: at one rehearsal, the groom and best man showed up 3 sheets to the wind. The pastor took them aside and explained that if there was any hint of booze when they arrived the next day, he was calling it off. They came sober! Same pastor went up to the photographer at another wedding and very politely informed him he would not be shooting another wedding in our church. Photographer said oh yes, I will, Pastor said oh no, you won’t, and walked off. He used flash during the ceremony and was a little obnoxious about it. Another wedding rehearsal. They had kind of a cowboy theme. They announced that at the end of the ceremony, the men planned to throw their cowboy hats into the air and yell “yee-haw”. In church!! They were invited not to. It’s so sad how people come into a church for their wedding and have no sense of reverence or idea of what is and isn’t appropriate.
This wedding was lovely, and I was so impressed with the prayer the couple wrote themselves. It was a beautiful wedding, and though it was obviously a state occasion, it was still not over the top. Thanks for your great thoughts.
Amen!! You did such a wonderful job of summing it up. I actually did watch it live-I got up at 4:45 and turned on the TV in time to see the Queen arrive. It really was a nice ceremony. I am not one to get up any earlier than I have to but I thought it was worth it.
I didn’t get up early either but did watch later in the day. I loved the ceremony as well, the trees inside were amazing… I can’t imagine getting married somewhere so grand! I loved watching the procession to the palace in the horse drawn carriages too. And you’re right that marriage should be celebrated and treasured- it’s a beautiful thing.
Twitter: susiebhomemaker
I didn’t see the wedding, but I loved your reporting of really an excellent sermon. Truthfully I didn’t expect to be moved by the sermon. What an awesome way God was able to get the importance of a God honoring marriage to maybe millions, even billions of people.
At our church this year God gave us the mandate to concentrate on building Godly relationships and marriages. One of the biggest lies satan has sold the world is that marriage doesn’t matter. Right from the beginning God showed us how to build God honoring Families. Each should leave and then cleave to each other. God should always be first priority in every are of our life. Then spouses and children. Marriage is a vow before God and man. Thanks for your blog. I am new to the blogging world at
Pastorkarla.blogspot.com
Marriage is a beautiful expression of love for God and each other as shown in Song of Solomon
I watched the recessional, as I headed off to school. As I do with all weddings, I pray for their marriage! This wedding made me think of my own wedding. What a great summary of God’s intention for marriage!
Kristen recently posted..Marriage Stumbles
Huzzah! I completely agree!
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As a total royalty junkie, I loved the whole thing. The music struck me as well – so beautiful and dignified. I’m a musician, and so many couples want popular music, country music, etc. at their wedding. This just seems so demeaning to the marriage ceremony to me. I’m happy to see William and Kate seem so happy and so well suited to each other. I really hope their marriage can succeed where Charles and Diana’s didn’t.