My Life With Twins: Advice to New Mothers of Multiples

Yesterday the twins turned 10 months old. They sleep mostly through the night, they finally nap at the same time, they eat more solids and depend less on breastfeeding to meet all of their needs. In other words, they are getting to be a lot easier. I’m going to be a lot busier soon, as both girls appear to be on the verge of walking, but at the same time, I’m pretty used to keeping mobile babies entertained. This isn’t my first rodeo, you know!

A friend gave birth to her set of beautiful twin girls last Tuesday. When I went to visit her at the hospital and I saw those two tiny perfect little peanuts I gasped. They were both 6 pounds 5 ounces, a bit smaller than my Ellie was, and a bit larger than my Emmy. And yet. . . I could hardly remember my girls being quite so tiny, and quite so helpless.

So this post goes out to my friend, as she navigates these first tenuous weeks of adjusting to not one baby, but two!

  • Be gentle on yourself. A multiple pregnancy takes a lot out of you as a mom, especially near the end. Multiple deliveries are no picnic either, whether you deliver naturally, via c-section, or a combination of the two. It is likely that you lost a lot of blood, are anemic, and also very, very tired. So rest as much as you can, accept help when offered, and take things slowly.
  • Remember that babies are more important than schedules. As much as you really want to get those babies into a routine, part of that routine has to come from the babies as well. Spend the first few weeks paying attention to their hunger cues and establishing a healthy nursing relationship. It may be harder to breastfeed two, but it is not impossible, and it very well be your most time saving decision in the long run (even though it does NOT seem like it now!)
  • In these first few weeks, don’t try to keep the babies on the same schedule. If they fall into it naturally, fine (many MZ twins will naturally keep very similar schedules, DZ twins probably will not). However stressing about keeping two individuals on the same routine may end up being more work for mom in these early weeks. Personally, I relished time alone with each of the girls. I also think that they appreciate some one on one time with mom.
  • Get to know the signs of postpartum depression. Tell your family members about the signs. Tell them to tell you if you are exhibiting them. Seek help if you need it! The hormone shift after a multiple birth is extreme to say the least. Find a way to relax, be alone, and hash out your feelings. Blogging in my early days really helped. I know people thought I was crazy for writing instead of napping in those first months, but for me the writing was even more therapeutic than sleep!
  • Drink a ton of water. You need it. Your babies need it.
  • Take a bajillion photos. Write everything down. You THINK you will remember all of these crazy days. Trust me. You won’t. (oh and in those pictures, keep the babies in the same order all of the time! I still mostly have Ellie on the left and Emmy on the right!)
  • Chocolate.

So, it is time for you to chime in! What is your best piece of advice for a brand new mother of multiples? (MoM). Are you expecting twins, or more? Do you want more of my tips, or experiences? Ask away! I love to hear from you all!

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Comments: 5

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  2. Old School/New School Mom November 18, 2010 at 9:38 am Reply

    I’m so impressed that your kids sleep through the night! Especially because there are two of them. That is awesome. This is such a lovely thoughtful post.

    • Dakotapam November 18, 2010 at 10:46 am Reply

      I have pretty loose requirements for sleeping through the night, if they sleep from when I go to bed around midnight, until around seven when I have to get up with the big kids, that counts.
      Twitter:

  3. Rebecca November 18, 2010 at 2:01 pm Reply

    Okay, so I’m not a mom of multiples but I’m a mom so I wanted to give my best advice. Take it all in. Listen to the crazy mom’s advice and listen to the mom you aspire to be advice. Just listen and let it digest. Don’t follow any one piece of advice all at once. Let all the advice just melt and blend together until you find what works best for YOU. Don’t only try stuff that works best for others.

    I took some advice from someone who IS a really great mom but it turned out to be the worst advice FOR ME. And then, there was this mom that I thought was totally insane….but ended up following her advice and was amazed at how brilliant she really was.

  4. Holly November 30, 2010 at 10:51 am Reply

    Love this advice. Even though my boy/girl twins will be 6 months old tomorrow – and are obviously not identical – I always put our son on the left and our daughter on the right in pictures! Makes it easier!

    My kids are not on the same schedule at all…and we just deal with it! The first few months are crazy – but I dare I say – it is almost easy now???

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