This morning I realized that I am finally a full time stay at home mom again! It is totally official. The other day, after feeding Emily in the NICU I stopped downstairs to pre-op to say hi to the co-workers. My manager was there, so I took the time to sign my paperwork terminating my position. I could have stayed on as help-out status, but really…I’m not in the mood to help out at this point. If I ever decide to go back, I’ll reapply…they’ll take me back!

I’ve been home full time since the beginning of November when I measured full term. But I was at home on modified bedrest. We ate a lot of take out. I had to let the house really slide. I had to focus on growing healthy babies. I think I did a pretty good job. I carried twins to 38 weeks, and could have gone longer, if I was not so terribly uncomfortable and if were deemed beneficial. I’m actually thankful they were born when they were, my brain keeps going back to the tracheal web that Emily was born with and I wonder if it would not have grown thicker the longer she was in the womb? We’ll never be sure. What I am sure of is that there was a miracle that took place a week ago today, God spared Emily’s life and I will be forever thankful.

So, now that I’ve had a few good nights of new mom sleep (which is not like regular sleep…but is new normal for new moms), I feel so much better…and I feel like a full time mom again. I feel like I can have a bit more patience with my older children and I am feeling like a slightly better manger here at home. It is going to take me a while to establish and re-establish my routines, but for now, I’m happy that my bed is made and the breakfast dishes are done…the laundry is under control again, finally.

I know that I will still have crazy days ahead of me where I will struggle, and my hormones still make me cry for no real good reason…but for now, I am embracing full time momhood again! This is the vocation I have truly been called to, and I am rejoicing in the privilege of mothering six beautiful children…what an awesome responsibility and what a rewarding opportunity!

Soli Deo Gloria!


  1. Ewe says:

    Maybe it has to do with being on bedrest so long, but if I were in your position I would be overwhelmed with twins! You are wonderful for having this attitude. From what you described, the whole birth for both girls was a miracle and the timing of it too. Take it one day at a time and spend time with your family now-I know it feels good to have the dishes done, but enjoy all your children before they grow up.

  2. Ethan, Zach, and Emma's Mom says:

    You were born to be a good Mama, Pam. I'm so happy that you're back to "normal", and that all is going well. Praise be to God!

Comments are closed.