The other day I was cleaning (someone has to do it!) and I ran across a journal, written on paper, with pen, from before my blogging days. It is dated January 7, 2006.
“So, are still going to try for a girl?”–Nope, never have. Ok. It could be completely dishonest to say that during four pregnancies I never hoped I was carrying a daughter. The thought of sweet embroidered dresses and baby dolls under the Christmas tree did cross my mind more than once. But each time I gave a final push and one by one my sons entered the world, I instantly forgot my desires for such feminine things.
For I am a boy mom.
Four sons, it does not get much more boy mom than that.
Perhaps it is that you don’t really miss what you don’t have, or that God has blessed me with a truly grateful heart, because I can say with all honesty that I am glad I have no daughters.
Four and a half years later, I nurse not one, but two daughters to sleep every night.
My house is an explosion of pink and lavender.
I see a softer side of my sons that I did not know they had.
And my heart bursts with love.
And I wonder what I would be missing if God had not changed my mind.
Written in participation of Bigger Picture Moments, “A moment where you recognized the role your faith plays in your every day life. A moment where you take note of motherhood and the importance of what you are doing. A moment that made you stop and breathe in the bigness of it all. The hugeness that is life and the small moments adding up to one Bigger Picture.” Play along if you like.