I have a rare fall Saturday at home today. The coffee is brewing. The girls are mindlessly watching cartoons. The first of many loads of laundry is washing (or the last of the midweek loads are rewashing–don’t judge!)

We are having an absolutely picture-perfect fall her in North Dakota this year. The stuff that magazine covers are made of.

I should be out walking paths crunching leaves.

I should be baking up all the apples.

I should be decking my house out in all of the fall decorations I have collected over the years.

This is what social media tells me I should be doing (and let’s not just blame social media! I’ve been at this mom gig long before Facebook and Pinterest. Before that we had parenting magazines that told us how to be perfect!)

What am I doing instead?

  • I’m waiting for that blessed coffee to finish brewing (why so slow, friend?).
  • I’m finally catching up on past-due writing (when the 9-5 is heavy on writing it is less fun on the off hours).
  • I’m getting used to a new Bluetooth keyboard–since about five important keys stopped working on the last one–as my Facebook friends were gleefully aware of!
  • I’m wondering where all of this laundry comes from!!!!
  • I’m looking at this big bag of fresh-picked apples on my counter with mixed feelings. I’m both thankful for God’s rich bounty, and a little overwhelmed with the responsibility of good stewardship.
  • I’m looking at my messy house while gently reminding myself that I had six children for such a time as this. I can cook and they can clean!
  • I’m thankful that the coffee has finally finished brewing and I am thankful for a stainless steel tumbler that keeps it actually hot when I set it down somewhere and forget about it for hours!
  • I’m thinking that all I really want to do is crochet. I’m working on a stack of dishcloths for Christmas gifts, which is a very fun way to play with new techniques! Speaking of new techniques, I fell down the Tunisian Crochet rabbit hole this week and finally got a new set of Tunisian hooks in the mail (thanks Amazon!)
  • I’m mentally procrastinating all.day.long.

The other night a dear friend commented in reference to me that I have six kids and never seem stressed. Well, I am stressed, a lot! My kids will vouch for me, and as such, I fear that I am not being real enough in public! I’ve been setting it as a goal to yell less for years now. . .and I’ve yet to succeed. I’m drowning in the clutter that a household of eight creates. Last week every last one of our dinners was on the fly–and one included using a coupon at KFC.

This is not the mom I ever wanted to be.

I always wanted to one of those moms who happily attended every sporting and school event, while maintaining an organized household, a shining disposition, and a balanced checkbook. Instead, I more resemble Mrs. Hannigan from Annie.


And yet, at the end of the day (most of) my kids hug me good night and tell me how much they love me. And yet, in the morning when I sit down to do my devotions I am reminded of just how much my God loves me.

Because you are precious in my eyes,

And honored, and I love you,

I give men in return for you,

Peoples in exchange for your life.


Isaiah 43:4

So, what am I? Blessed, stressed, or something in between? I still have to say, I am overwhelmingly blessed.