I’ve come pretty far as a mom.
I’ve gone from the one needing constant advice to being the one asked for advice.
I’ve been able to let go of some of the temptations that come with motherhood. The temptation to compare children is less than it used to be, though the addition of twins to our dynamic makes comparisons almost impossible to avoid. I am letting go of the temptation to feel guilty about every little thing.
I trust myself more.
Yet, I do not doubt myself less.
As a matter of fact, not a day goes by in which I wonder if I’m not failing my children in some way.
- Are they suffering because there are so many of them and only one of me?
- Do they feel unconditionally loved?
- Do I expect too much from them?
- Am I expecting too little of them?
- Have I done enough to ensure that they will be productive members of society, good husbands, wives, fathers or mothers?
I knew that motherhood was not going to be easy. What I was not prepared for was how all consuming it would be. I was not prepared to see all of my bad habits in walking, talking form. I was not prepared for all for all of the work I would have to do with reining in my temper.
I somehow thought that motherhood would look like it does in the magazines. Slightly fuzzy and out of focus, serene and blissful. I’d wear coordinating outfits and we would finger paint in my sparkling clean kitchen.
What we get instead is a motley (yet lovable) crew watching Spongebob in my dusty living room while I hide out in my yoga pants in another room eating my secret stash of chocolate and hoping that the babies don’t find me.
If I only believed what I saw in the magazines, I could do nothing but despair! But I have some really good friends. They let me in on their lives at the messiest times.
- Good mommy friends make your sticky kitchen seem just a bit cleaner.
- Good mommy friends let you know that white socks CAN go well with little boy dress pants.
- Good mommy friends gently remind you that ketchup can double as a vegetable some days.
- Good mommy friends always seem to know when you need a cup of coffee.
I need, and appreciate my mommy friends, more than I can even express here. I live far from extended family, so my fellow mothers become my family. We turn to each other for advice, comfort, an encouraging word, or just a shoulder to cry on.
So, if you haven’t done it lately, thank a friend who makes your road easier!
So, what about you? What has friendship meant to you? Are your friends newer, older or in between? Do you let YOUR friends see your sticky kitchen? Chime in!