It was a tough motherhood week last week. The boys were very busy, the girls were teething and then ill. I had to be a grown up more than I wanted to. Some days I feel like I am teaching and reteaching and then reteaching again with the kids.
It can get frustrating.
This week I made three last minute grocery store trips. Elizabeth managed to lock herself into her room, and then also managed to lock her and I into another room the next day. I still need to get to the hardware store to buy new door knobs, currently most of the doors have no knobs. . .which makes it tough to block twins from getting into off limits rooms.
Needless to say, yesterday I was tired. And I was cranky. I was looking forward to getting out on a play date with friends. And then, a crabby toddler crawled up on my lap, popped her thumb into her mouth and fell asleep.
So I sat. And I rocked her. I nuzzled her fuzzy head and told her about all of the dreams I have for her. I whispered about how I wondered how she would look. I told her how I was afraid to mother one daughter let alone two. I savored her weight in my lap, her sticky warmth. I was just present.
Later that afternoon, Elizabeth was taking a second nap (she has a cold, hence the crabbiness). Emily was restless, but not wanting to go to bed. Finally I pulled her onto my lap. She put her little head on my shoulder and we rocked. I repeated all of the things I told her sister. I nibbled her little ear. And then she fell asleep. She NEVER falls asleep on my lap.
I savored it all.
Everyone has bad days, even bad weeks. However, there is nearly always a silver lining. God gives us glimpses of the good amidst the hard times. It is funny how even a sick toddler can make my day!
Chime in! What has been your silver lining this week? Sometimes they are hard to find, sometimes easier! You know I’d love to hear from you!
Yesterday the twins turned 10 months old. They sleep mostly through the night, they finally nap at the same time, they eat more solids and depend less on breastfeeding to meet all of their needs. In other words, they are getting to be a lot easier. I’m going to be a lot busier soon, as both girls appear to be on the verge of walking, but at the same time, I’m pretty used to keeping mobile babies entertained. This isn’t my first rodeo, you know!
A friend gave birth to her set of beautiful twin girls last Tuesday. When I went to visit her at the hospital and I saw those two tiny perfect little peanuts I gasped. They were both 6 pounds 5 ounces, a bit smaller than my Ellie was, and a bit larger than my Emmy. And yet. . . I could hardly remember my girls being quite so tiny, and quite so helpless.
So this post goes out to my friend, as she navigates these first tenuous weeks of adjusting to not one baby, but two!
- Be gentle on yourself. A multiple pregnancy takes a lot out of you as a mom, especially near the end. Multiple deliveries are no picnic either, whether you deliver naturally, via c-section, or a combination of the two. It is likely that you lost a lot of blood, are anemic, and also very, very tired. So rest as much as you can, accept help when offered, and take things slowly.
- Remember that babies are more important than schedules. As much as you really want to get those babies into a routine, part of that routine has to come from the babies as well. Spend the first few weeks paying attention to their hunger cues and establishing a healthy nursing relationship. It may be harder to breastfeed two, but it is not impossible, and it very well be your most time saving decision in the long run (even though it does NOT seem like it now!)
- In these first few weeks, don’t try to keep the babies on the same schedule. If they fall into it naturally, fine (many MZ twins will naturally keep very similar schedules, DZ twins probably will not). However stressing about keeping two individuals on the same routine may end up being more work for mom in these early weeks. Personally, I relished time alone with each of the girls. I also think that they appreciate some one on one time with mom.
- Get to know the signs of postpartum depression. Tell your family members about the signs. Tell them to tell you if you are exhibiting them. Seek help if you need it! The hormone shift after a multiple birth is extreme to say the least. Find a way to relax, be alone, and hash out your feelings. Blogging in my early days really helped. I know people thought I was crazy for writing instead of napping in those first months, but for me the writing was even more therapeutic than sleep!
- Drink a ton of water. You need it. Your babies need it.
- Take a bajillion photos. Write everything down. You THINK you will remember all of these crazy days. Trust me. You won’t. (oh and in those pictures, keep the babies in the same order all of the time! I still mostly have Ellie on the left and Emmy on the right!)
So, it is time for you to chime in! What is your best piece of advice for a brand new mother of multiples? (MoM). Are you expecting twins, or more? Do you want more of my tips, or experiences? Ask away! I love to hear from you all!