The Trouble With Twindom

twins
At the end of the day, they are sweethearts.

The trouble with twins is that while we have two times the fun, and two times the snuggles; here at 20 months of age, we also have two times the tantrums. There are challenges with raising twins.

I’m not going to sugar coat this. I’m not going to lie. Some days I feel like I have a twin crying All.Day. Long.

Combine the tantrums with our family tendency for late talking, we have tantruming toddlers who cannot talk to me. Not that I really want to know what they think anyway. I’m fairly certain they would just tell me that I am mean for not allowing one more cookie, or insisting on a nap or not putting the shoes back on for the fiftieth time in a day.

Going out in public is getting tougher. Neither girl is fond of sitting in a shopping cart. However, neither girl really wants to walk  nicely next to the cart either. Have you ever read Llama Llama Mad at Mama? In the middle of the story, the climax, if you will, the little llama throws a tantrum of epic proportions in the middle of the store. Groceries, shoes, toys, and clothing go flying. This is but a wee insight into what happens when I shop with the twins.

This would all not be so disturbing, except that I am an experienced mother! This is not my first rodeo! I have four other kids who I stayed home with, and took grocery shopping, and took them in fitting rooms with me so I could buy jeans that fit. And while the boys may have whined and complained; none of them threw fits that caused fellow shoppers to stare at me as if I were the one throwing a fit.

So what is a mom to do? For now, I stick pretty close to home. A cop-out perhaps, but sanity is important too. I can wait until after school when I have older brother assistants, but they are not fond of spending their free time running errands either.

I was sharing my toddler twin woes during a playdate on Friday. All of the moms of singletons clucked politely and said silent prayers of thanks that they had but one baby at a time. However, sweet Mae, mom of two sets of twins, two years apart, laughed. She said, “I wish I had some great Mom of Multiples wisdom for you, but I’ve got nothing.” And then I realized that we are all wallowing through this motherhood thing.

Advice from other moms may or may not work. . .we are all a product of our current and past environments. Some days I even dream of the freedoms something like a live in housekeeper or nanny would give me. And yet, I wonder if extra help could even complicate things further.

What I do know is that no matter how difficult these days are, I would not trade them for life without my crazy, moody, sweet, beautiful twins. They are a blessing beyond words, and a lesson in patience for me as well.

Chime in! What are your kids teaching you? Patience? Acceptance? Unconditional love? You know I’d love to hear from you!

Do you have twins, are expecting twins or know someone who is? Make sure you click on over to my “Got Twins?” page and learn more about the wonders of twindom! Lots of advice and experience from pregnancy, breast feeding and beyond!

My Child of 9/11<< >>The Silver Lining

About the author : Dakotapam

I’m a Lutheran pastor’s wife and mom to six kids, including toddler twin girls. My life is sometimes normal, and sometimes crazy; but through it all, I know that I am blessed! Some people say that I have my hands full, I prefer to call it living life with both hands full, and I love it!

10 comments to “The Trouble With Twindom”

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  1. Krystle - September 20, 2011 Reply

    What a great, REAL post. Man…NOT looking forward to those days. All I can think of is “I’m so thankful they aren’t triplets!” HA!

    Each stage is a challenge and a joy isn’t it? If you come up with some totally awesome idea…SHARE it 🙂 Until then…..hugs!

    • Dakotapam - September 20, 2011 Reply

      Challenges and joys sums it up. I can’t imagine my life without them. . .we’re coming up on two years since the day I found out it was TWINS! My, how my life has changed (mostly for the better) in two short years!

  2. eileen larson - September 20, 2011 Reply

    I used to push the twins double stroller and pull a cart. I did that until they were almost four. I would get so mad the the people who would take time to stop and stare but couldn’t ask if I needed a little help. I once brought a portable DVD player with to set in the twins lap on what I knew would be a long Walmart trip.

    • Dakotapam - September 20, 2011 Reply

      That would work, possibly. However, Emily. . .the booger. . .hates the stroller too. What kid hates the stroller? Really? I was previously opposed to baby leashes. . .but they look better by the day. Of course that would make me the crazy lady being dragged around the store by hysterically laughing twins. I'm guessing people would PAY to see that!

      • eileen larson - September 21, 2011 Reply

        You know I am always willing to watch two adorable girls while you shop! Anytime! Just let me know!!

  3. Zoie - September 20, 2011 Reply

    You have a very wise friend there. And some beautiful children. I wish there were a giant, glowing, flashing neon sign that would lower down from on high whenever it’s meltdown time to remind me of the words in your last paragraph. I’d be a far more patient mother if there were.

    What have they taught me about patience, acceptance, and unconditional love? That I will always fall short of my own wish to give it when I’m being challenged, but they will give it to me whenever I screw up; That it’s okay to screw up sometimes and apologize later; That I could never err in giving them every ounce of patience, acceptance, and unconditional love I can.

  4. jill - September 21, 2011 Reply

    Wow…those girls are adorable! 🙂 I know, I know, easy for me to say, right?

    • Dakotapam - September 21, 2011 Reply

      They ARE adorable. That is what keeps me smiling through the whole thing. They are too darn cute to be angry or annoyed with for too long:)

  5. Joleen - September 23, 2011 Reply

    The last six months have taught me how selfish I really am and how much more selfless I need to be. Oh, the amount of patience I am learning each day is astounding. As much I am learning about my sons and loving them more each day, I am learning so much also about my strengths and weaknesses.

    • Dakotapam - September 23, 2011 Reply

      They teach us so much, no? We’ve had a week worth of events that could fill an entire new blog. And yet, I could not love them more. Some days I feel that my heart will burst.

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